Winter Days
by superzedu
Summary: This serie follows Hermione through winter. She struggles with her feelings, risks her friendship with Harry and Ron and even suffers a nervous breakdown. Summary sucks! eventually Femslash - ChoxHermione
1. Chapter 1

**A/n:** This is my first Harry Potter fanfiction ever n__n I was inspired by other fics about it and by re-reading the books, and re-watching the films... I'm back into my HP-fangirlism again ^^ But anyways, this is a series about Hermione, who is struggling with her feelings, her life and most of all her friendship with Harry and Ron. Things don't work out the way they should. Though I am not really good at describing feelings of a character, I think that this is good progression if I want to get better at it ^_~ So I could really use some constructive critisism, yes :D  
I called it 'Winter Days' because, well, it is almost winter now, and, in this fic I will write all the way through December (I will skip a few days ofcourse), so expect more of this.

_**Warning: this is (eventually) femslash. If you do not like girlxgirl, click the big red button with the X on it right now.**_

_**Disclaimer: All characters from Harry Potter belong to J.K Rowling. I own nothing.**_

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_Chapter One: Library Geeks.  
_----

It smelled like freshly mowed grass outside with a hint of that crisp snow-smell, that refreshing scent that makes the winter-air the winter-air. The snow and frost crunched lightly under my moving feet and my breath, erratic as it was from climbing and coming down the hills, formed little, infrequently emitted clouds as I walked up the sloping landscape in front of the Main Entrance. Little snowflakes, barely being worthy of being called a flake made their way down from above, decorating the landscape with a blanket of white. Treetops glistened in the weak sun and the entire surface of the Black Lake was captured by a thick layer of ice. Oh, how I hate winter.

It's not that I don't like the snow and the beautiful scenery and all, but the cold, oh the cold. Runny noses, cold hands which you can barely write something down with and massive flu attacks among the students. Snowballfights, ice-skating, making snow-angels, everything about it. I absolutely and utterly hate it. The only good thing about it is that they serve hot chocolate and small ammounts of Butterbeer at dinner and lunch.

A few nervous first-years passed me by as I reached the small grey marble plaza in front of the entrance, and I took a moment to get my breath back from the climb, deeply inhaling the chill air. My lungs stung and I felt cold by the time I could breath regularly again. I groaned, hoisted my bag higher on my shoulder and made my way through the massive wooden doors, from which one of them had been shut to minimize the cold inside Hogwarts. Quiet as it usually was during classes, the halls echoed enormously, making my footsteps sound like they came from every direction.

My feet automatically led me through all the halls, up the stairscases and through quicker passages. I even nearly ran in to Filch (he surely wouldn't have believed my approved early departure from class) along the way to the library. The only place in Hogwarts where my heart truly belonged. Yes, I, Hermione Granger, am a bookworm, even though I would never admit it out loud. And I'm proud of it. If others think I'm a geek, well, let them think I'm a geek, that I'm a nerd, because I don't care. I know that I'm no geek, I just love reading books. They hold such useful information and fantastic myths and stories. That's why I seek peace and silence in the library when my life's a mess.

Not that my life is a mess now, I just love to go to the library on every occasion. I don't need a particular reason. There are so many books which I haven't read yet, mysteries to be solved, answers to be found.. Gosh, I could spend days in between books! And the good thing about being the teachers pet is that I always (well, most of the time) get a note on demand if I want to go and browse around in the Forbidden Section.

Slowly opening the library doors, I quietly made my way into the somewhat dark but warm library. The smell of parchment and dust reached my nose and I inhaled deeply. Oh, how I'd love that scent. As I immediatly walked around the corner of the first bookshelve, I stood still for a moment and peeked through the books. It was quite busy, and to my disappointance, almost every table was occupied. I noticed the bronze-darkblue collars and ties. Ugh. Ravenclaws. I sighed rather loudly and made my way to the furthest and calmest part of the library.

The books in this part were covered with a respective layer of dust, the backs were grey and shabby and it smelled a little moudly. I discovered this part a few years ago when I was searching for something to complete my Ancient Runes essay, and from then I was sure that no one, or not many other students knew about it. The best part about it was that there even was a small table and a chair. I assumed that this part was formerly in use, but forgotten over time.

I pulled my wand out of my pocket and flicked my wrist, making the dust on the table disappear into thin air. Carefully placing my bag on the floor, which hit the ground with a gentle thud, to prevent any vials from breaking I grabbed a random quill and bottle of black ink out of it, putting both items down on the now clean table. I reached into my bag, my hands finding a piece of fresh parchement. It crunched lightly under my fingers as I straightened it out in front of me. With some more flicks of my wrist (hallelujah for non-verbal spells) a couple of randomly chosen books floated out of their shelves and formed a neat stack on the table.

Taking the lid off the bottle of ink, I dipped the quill into the black and shiny liquid, which filled almost immediately. I scribbled down my name and the title 'Healing Herbs: what do they do?' and started writing, dipping the quill back into the ink ever so often. The essay about the herbs doesn't require much work, but I had my spirits up, and if I did it now, I would have the weekend off to go to Hogsmeade.

The silent air was only disturbed by the soft scribbling of my writing, the sound of the quill gliding over the parchment. When I needed more information, I would grab a book from the stack and search for useful parts or quotes.

"Oh!" sounded a surprised voice right across me, "Umm.. hello."

Somehow, the voice sounded a tad familiar. I perked up, glancing into the direction from which the voice came.

Cho Chang. For a minute I wondered what on earth Cho was doing here. One; she probably has class right now; and two, how could she know of this place? No one was supposed to know of it, and certainly not Cho. Surely I knew that Cho was a clever girl: her grades were good and she loved reading books, like I do. But why would she be here? She would just use this place to come with her ''friends'' to chatter and gossip about. I don't prejudge the girl, but I only know her on superficial level, so I don't really know how she is like to be around, but I only see her or in the library or giggling about with her friends.

"What are you doing here?" I asked, a little more harsh then I intended to. Cho visibily shrunk back, but she remained on her place.

"Well, I.. I um, was searching for.. a book." The answer sounded nervous, but she'd put it that way so that I couldn't be marked as a real lie or something.

I smacked down my quill and fully looked at her.

"No, what are you doing _here_." I said, putting the emphasis on the word 'here'.

"Like I said, I'm looking for a book." Cho sounded a little more confident.

"And what book might that be?"

"Umm... Well, I have a Herbology test tomorrow, so I was searching for some helpful information about herbs."

I could really slap myself at that moment. Did she do this on purpose? Wasn't it just a little too coïncidental? I mentally shook the though from my mind, sighed and resumed my writing, leaving Cho by herself. I heard a rustle of robes, and I assumed that she had left. But as I wrote down a new scentence, I saw from the corner of my eye that she was standing next to me, looking in the bookshelves. I frowned deeply and tried to ignore her. I wrote a few paragraphs, but Cho was still next to me. I took a deep breath and sighed it out. _Focus, Hermione_. Cho took a book out of the shelf and looked through the pages. Nearly every movement she made seemed to get me out of my concentration.

"Um, Hermione?"

"What?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"I, er, overlooked your essay, and I saw that it's about herbs. Could I borrow one of those books?"

I took a moment to look at my essay. I was already half-done, and I could do the other half without any book, and, _if that would get you out of here_, "Fine."

Picking a random book from the stack while I massaged my temple with my other hand, I held it out to her, not bothering to look up. She took it, said a quick thank you and walked away again, her robes following her like ghosts. Sighing deeply, I closed the book which lay in front of me and took a fresh bit of ink. I let the quill hover above the parchment for a moment. My head was completely empty. I could think of anything that had to do with Herbology. Frowning lightly, I tried to come up with a clever scentence or a handful of useful tips about herbs, but absolutely nothing sprang to my mind.

_Okay. Thanks much, Cho._

I put the books back on their places, rolled up the parchment (after I was sure that the ink was dry), packed my bag, hoisted it up my shoulder and made my way to the Gryffindor common room.  
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**Read and review please~!  
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	2. Chapter 2

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_Chapter two: Misunderstood.  
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Breakfast hadn't even begun, yet I sat at the long Gryffindor table, finishing my essay about the herbs. I couldn't finish it yesterday, because for some reason Cho had completely knocked away my concentration. Luckily, I woke up early this morning, I couldn't sleep anymore, so I decided to go and finish the essay before the students came marching in for breakfast.

Scribbling down a few last comments, I gave it a quick spell-check and mentally nodded at it. I rolled up the parchment and put everything back into my bag, and exchanged it for the _Daily Prophet_. I quickly took a glance at my watch: still fifteen minutes left before some students would enter the hall.

"Hermione?"

I looked up from the paper, meeting the sleepy grey eyes of Ron. I smiled at him and put the paper down.

"Good morning, Ron. You're up early."

"Couldn't sleep. What about you?"

I shrugged, "Couldn't sleep either."

Ron nodded understandingly and proceeded to lay himself down on the table, his head resting on his arms. His messy hair messed up even more as he dug his face into the soft depths of his robe. A small smile tugged at the corner of my lips. _Silly Ron_.

I straightened out the newspaper and resumed reading. I kept an eye out for frontpage-news about the Dark Lord or anything other conspicious that could be associated with Voldemort and his followers. Luckily, nothing looked suspicious enough to require further investigation, so I could read my usual columns. Reaching the horoscope, I couldn't resist it, though I don't, and never have believed a word of what horoscopes say.

_Sagittarius:  
__The moon travels in the house of relationship and invites you to spend a respective ammount of time on love. Are there any things that need answering? You will see, when Venus shall be in the fifth house, you will be strongly attracted to a person from outside your usual friends and family: do not let this chance slip away._

I snorted rather loudly, who the hell would believe this crap? Gosh, they must be complete idiots. Folding the _Daily Prophet_ and putting it in my bag, Harry arrived.

"Hey, Hermione, you know that essay for Herbology? Could I perhaps, er, copy some of it?"

"Well, good morning to you too, Harry." I calmly replied, glaring daggers at the black-clad boy. I sighed: sometimes I felt like Harry and Ron used me just for easy homework-copying. True, I know that they didn't: I valued our friendship just as much as they did, and we've been through hell together, but weeks after weeks would pass with them asking for homework and essays and tutorings without saying a friendly word.

"Yeah, fine." I said, giving him the parchment with the just-finished essay. He seemed quite suprised but took the essay and mumbled a thank you, sitting down on the wooden bench.  
----

After breakfast, I had a double hour of Potions with Harry and Ron, so I reluctantly left Ginny and Luna, who had a free hour before their first class and went to the dungeons with the redhead and Harry.

Making my way to the dungeons, I heard somebody call my name, and the soft voice seemed somewhat familiar. Me, Ron and Harry turned around to confirm the person_._ Cho stood before me, smiling widely. Her golden eyes shot from me to Harry once, but remained on me. I raised an eyebrow: _what does she want from me really_?

"Hermione, I just wanted to say that the book really helped me, so, thanks." she said, and before I knew it she had thrown her arms around my neck and embraced me: I noticed that she was a little taller than me. Blinking a few times, I hestitantly put my arms around her back, but the hug ended as quick as it began.

"Er, no problem?" I said, and vaguely stared at the girl.

"Yeah. Um, we," I pointed my thumb at Harry and Ron, "have to go, so. Bye." I stated, and turned back around, leaving Cho behind. Ron and Harry quickly followed me, probably full of questions, while I didn't even know why exactly she did that. What was really up with that girl? Before, Cho wouldn't even bother to _look_ at me, and now she's suddenly all over me.

_Oh! _Of course! She wants to get access to Harry by using me! Everybody knows she likes Harry, why didn't I figure before. Harry is just too oblivious to see that, so she is planning to be friends with me to get closer with him. I shook my head lightly and opened the door to the dungeons. It was cold down in the dungeons and the rooms were dim-lit. The walls were damp and glistened in the weak light that the torches on the walls provided. I shivered a little, and when my eyes got used to the dark, I walked on.

"Hermione, what was that all about?" Ron asked.

"I have no idea."

"Well, of course you do." he replied, and I could hear the confusion in his voice, making me grin a little.

"No, honestly, I don't."

"But, she... why.." he couldn't finish his incomprehensible question, because I opened the door to Potions class, where a damp smell hung thick in the air. Somehow, a blue-ish fog or some sort of thin smoke hung just below the ceiling, and I don't think I even _want_ to know why_._

"Well well..." a slick, low voice, belonging to no one else than Severus Snape greeted me, "Weasly, Granger and Potter." he said, almost spitting out the words as he spoke.

Turning toward the direction on the voice, Snape looked down at me, a disgusted and contemptuous look in his near-black eyes. I looked him in the eyes for a couple of seconds and then proceeded to my place, Harry and Ron in pursuit.

As I sat myself down on my usual place, I calmly put down my stuff next to the small cauldron that stood on the desk, feeling the piercing gaze of Snape on me, but I didn't look at him. After putting my books and wand down, I tried to look at him as lethal as possible, expressing the whole-hearted hatred I felt for the man, not blinking or looking away.

He looked away after a while "I will assume that everyone is present, so we will continue where we left last time, page 287 of you books."

The whole class quickly leafed through the book to the required page as Snape manoeuvered through the tables, checking the books.

After a short explanation by Snape, and after he had put down the ingredients on the chalkboard, the class began brewing the assigned _Somnium Liquidus_: liquid dream.

I knew that this was a difficult assignment: I've read about liquid dream, and it is very unstable while being made, and once normally brewed, it has to be used the same day to gain even a little bit of effect. If the liquid dream is brewed to strong, one can sleep for nearly a day as a side-effect, and if the potion isn't made by following the recipe precisely, one could end up having a really bad dream.

After doing the basics (adding the water, heating it up to the correct temperature and putting in the main ingredient for the colour of the potion, which was the extract of the bark of a birch, which gave it a lovely white teint), I needed to add the stuff which gave the liquid dream the power to influence one's dream positively or negatively.

The recipe said that to create a Somnium Luquidus which held the quality to more or less create a "_positive or "up" dream_" you needed to add ladybugshells, wings of a butterfly, dried cactus neeldes, extract of the roots of a black willow, a few different herbs, kingfisher tailfeathers, an ounce of beetlejuice and a lot of other things. Biting my bottom lip, I read the instructions. It required a lot of boiling, stirring, waiting and precise temperatures.

I started with crushing the ladybugshells with a mortar en pestle, grinding them securely to a red couloured powder. Shoveling the powder into the cauldron, the white fluid changed to a pinkish colour.

According to the recipe, I stirred it clockwise for a minute and a half before adding the wings of a butterfly. Cleaning the mortar and pestle, I also grinded the wings to fine powder, this time it had a shiny, purple colour. After adding it to the pink liquid in the cauldron, the colour barely changed. Stirring it clockwise for another minute and a half again, the to-be-potion needed to boil for about 10 minutes before adding the next ingredient.

While the luiqid dream simmered in the cauldron, the fire on a constant 89 degrees Celsius, I started on chopping up the dried cactus needles into little pieces, which was quite the job: the needles had a hard exterior, and it was hard to slice them.

"Psssssst! Hermione!" Ron's voice from my right side whispered.

"What?" I hissed back, turning to the redhead next to me, meeting his ever so sad and somewhat desperate eyes.

"How come your potion is pink and mine not?"

I rolled my eyes at him, whispered a quick explanation and went back to work. Ron, however, didn't seemed satisfied with that and kept calling me, until Snape passed by and whacked him on his head with _The Daily Prophet. _I bit my bottom lip, held in my giggles and turned back to my desk, pretending to read instructions for good measure until the black-robed teacher was out of earshot.

Ron slumped down in his chair, barely even sitting on it now, looking somewhat defeated with that pout of him on his lips.

Letting out a chuckle, I proceeded to chop up the cactus needles.  
----

"Tomorrow we will discuss the effect the liquid dreams had on you.." Snape exclaimed after class, letting his eyes rest upon Ron, who had screwed up majorly brewing the Somnium Luquidus. He had added the wrong cactus needles, and his potion turned out to be darkblue, while most of the students had a pinkish colour to it.

And Snape wanted that all of us would use the potion this night, to compare the various results tomorrow and so that he could ridicule students with failing results.

Snape rattled on some more and dismissed class.  
----

At lunch, Cho appeared again, flopping herself down on the long bench next to me. As I was just going to start on my sandwich, she caught me in mid-bite. I put down the sandwich and turned to her.

"Hey." the raven-haired girl said, her amber eyes focussed on me, a shimmer in them which I could not define.

"Hi.." I replied, questioningly raising an eyebrow. Cho really had been around me these days, and I started to find it annoying. I didn't care wether she wanted to be with Harry or not, but if she is just too much of a chicken to go talk to him herself, though I don't even know if I am assuming this right, she doesn't have a reason to need to use me instead.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow." Cho bluntly stated after a period of fidgeting with the hem of her skirt. She looked up, that deep gaze on mine again.

I frowned at the girl in front of me, and I opened my mouth to say something, but closed it again. Biting my bottom lip, I deepened my frown and sighed. _What the hell is this all about? _

"Look, Cho," I said as I looked up at her, "if you want Harry to come you can just ask him yourself you know. He won't bite you."

Cho seemed genuinely surprised, her eyebrows furrowing deeply. I didn't know wether she was acting or not, since more than half of the school knew that Cho liked Harry. Still, the question was why she was trying to get to him via _me_: she is confident enough to ask him herself, and she is a smart, and not to forget, very handsome (yes, even I'll admit that she has... nice assets) girl. And, having a past with Cedric, I thought I could assume that Cho had figured just how she should get to a boy, but seemingly she doesn't.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Oh don't pretend you don't get me, Cho." I retorted harshly, standing up, leaving the raven-haired girl sitting surprisedly. Cho quickly stood up too, a confused glimmer in her eyes.

"You know, I am just not the person to use for this kind of things." I said, seemingly confusing the Ravenclaw even more.

"Honestly, I really don't know what you're talking about." the reply followed quickly.

I rolled my eyes at her, "I am talking about Harry. If you want to get more in touch with him, fine, but don't use me as your medium." I said and started to walk away from Cho.

A strong but soft hand grabbed me by the wrist and stopped me in my tracks. Turning around fiercely, I pierced my gaze into hers, but she didn't look away. Her eyes had that glimmer from before again, and somehow that triggered something in my mind, and for some reason I wanted to find out just what that little glint meant.

"Hermione, you've misunderstood. Listen, I have to go now, but please, let me explain, okay?" she said, a desperate undertone in her voice. Out of the blue, I felt a little sorry for acting like this toward her. I opened my mouth to apologize, but she interrupted me.

"Just.. just meet me at the Three Broomsticks tomorrow, around three, okay?"

The amber-eyed girl let go of my wrist and looked at me a couple of seconds before hastily walking off.

I watched her walk away and I shook my head lightly. I still didn't know wether to believe her or not, but I really don't get her at _all_.  
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**A/n**: yay, chapter two is up! I had fun writing this because I got the change to describe Potion, which I think is the coolest class ever, except for Snape.. So yeah, I'm pretty happy with that n.n And um, next up will be the ''triggering'' event of this fic when Cho and Hermione go to Hogsmeade ^^  
For this fic, in the beginning with the horoscope and all: I actually googled horoscope and used wikipedia, but I chose Sagittarius for Hermione because in various descriptions I saw words such as intelligent, hard-working, intellect, ambition and so on, so I thought that it would fit her well.

Anyhow, I have upcoming exams, so I won't be able to write much in a week, but I'll try my best, so, bear with me..

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter neither do I own Hermione Granger or Cho Chang. They all belong to the brilliant mind of J.K Rowling.  
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	3. Chapter 3

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_Chapter three: Weird dreams and snowflakes.  
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_I ran and ran, trying to escape my followers, who still had their guns aimed at me, shooting ever so often, but missing all the time. My breathing was ragged, erratic and my lungs stung but I kept running and running, my blue coat flappering in the wind. The trees I passed by were nothing more than mere blurs, I saw something brown doom up before me and came to a thundering halt._

_A mountain._

_Looking up to see its height, a droplet of sweat trickled down my forehead. Another shot from behind echoed around me and the bullet drilled a hole into the rock surface next to me, sending rubble and smoke flying through the air. Without further hestitance I grabbed whatever ledge my hands could find and, with a lot of effort, pulled myself up. The rocks were slippery because of the snow and I had to try my best not to fall. I searched for another ledge, grabbed it and climbed even higher, hearing the exasperated screams from the hunters down below, making me climb even quicker._

_Again, sounds of gunshots banged into my ears and the two bullets dug into the rocks underneath me, causing them to break off, which made me lose my balance. I tried to grip on to something but it was all smooth and slippery surface and I hopelessy toppled backwards._

_I screamed as loud as I could and closed my eyes, ready for impact, but that never came. Afraid, I cautiously opened one eye, but only to find myself standing at the bank of a lake. A thousand stars reflected in the smooth water surface, and the full moon shone brightly upon it all. White flowers bloomed all around me, seemingly glowing in the moonlight, and in the middle of the lake lay a little island that was also full of those flowers. A small boat from across the water drifted to me._

_I stepped in the little boat, not knowing where it would take me. As it glided through the water, the surface rippled, and silver flashes of the stars' reflection formed in the little waves. The boat drifted further toward the island, going on shore there._

_Stepping onto the grass on the island, snow began to fall from the sky. Tiny, very tiny feathery flakes fell from the cloudless sky, like little stars falling from the heavens. I stared upward, bewildered._

"_Hermione."_

_I quickly turned around to the voice, meeting a very vaguely familiar amber gaze. A voice smooth as velvet; eyes twinkling like no other; jetblack, shiny hair cascading down bare shoulders; flawless skin as if made from marble, and still, it was all too familiar._

_The person made its way toward me through the bed of flowers. The snow still fell ever so regulary, but never really reached the ground: they disappeared a few inches before touchdown. As the person came closer and closer, I could do nothing more than just to stand there in the midst of the scenery, captured by that oh so fierce gaze._

_I could now clearly see that it was a girl, and she was now so close that I could see the individual little colours in her golden eyes, every single one of them an other, brighter or darker colour than its predecessor. A soft and warm arm wrapped around my waist and the other hand lifted my head up under my chin, tenderly forcing me to look into those eyes again._

"_Hermione." she repeated, and she leaned in closer._

_I managed to whisper a word back, raspily and barely audible as if I forgot how to speak properly._

"_Cho."_

I stared at the ceiling of my curtained bed, breathing heavily, taking time to process what my mind just pictured in REM-sleep. Did I really dreamed that? I blinked a few times, propped myself up my elbows and peeked through the curtains: bright sunlight ached in my eyes and I quickly shut them again, welcoming the darkness back in my eyes.

Steadying my breathing, I still tried to deny of what I just dreamed. It must've been the potion, it must have been it. Nervously, I decided to take a shower, maybe a cold one perhaps. I grabbed both sides of the dark-red curtains and pulled them open, the light prickling in my eyes. I squinted, and only after I got used to it I dared to fully open them again.

I stepped into my slippers to avoid cold feet, grabbed some clothes and a clean robe and walked to the bathroom. As I walked by the window, I noticed that it was snowing once again.

_Did I really dream of Cho?  
__----_

**A/n**: Weird dreams for Hermione it is.. So yeah, it's not entirely to blame on the potion, but Hermione's subconsciousness playes roles too (: She secretly likes Cho, she just doesn't knows it yet.. hahaha, how evil person I am.  
But yeah, um, I thoughtthat it was fun to do a little dream, I mean, I had the urge to write and this just rolled out of my fingers some how, it's quite short, not even a hundred words, but I like it and I am quite pleased with it, actually :3

Please, if you feel the urge, review and give some constructive critism, 'cause I don't know if I am doing this right or spelling some words right though my English vocabulary is quite developed, but, feel free to do so, okay! I need it =]

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hermione Granger, or any other characters from the Harry Potter series. They are all the creations of J.K Rowling.  
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	4. Chapter 4

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_Chapter four: Confessions.  
_----

After I was done giving Snape the results of the liquid dream, at his classroom deep down in the slimy and cold dungeons, I breathed out deeply. Visiting a teacher in the weekend wasn't something I liked to do, certainly not if it was Snape. But the worst part about it was still the dream itself. I could recall it perfectly, I remember every little detail. Usually, I forgot what I had dreamt, or just remembered some vague images of what had happened behind my closed eyes, but with the effect of the liquid dream, none of that seemed to happen. A part of me wanted to forget the dream, and, somehow, part of me didn't. And that thought frustrated me the most.

I walked through the doors and entered the Great Hall. Taking a quick look around, I spotted Ginny and I proceeded to sit down at the Gryffindor table across of her. I sighed and rubbed my temples, closing my eyes for a second.

"Are you alright?" Ginny asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I... just haven't slept that well." I said. That was a lie of course, because in truth, I have been sleeping like heaven these days, and especially last night. I opened my eyes again, casting away the pleasant cold on my eyes that the darkness had provided.

I checked my watch and frowned. Still another two hours before I would meet Cho at the Three Broomsticks. As I grabbed a piece of toast from the table, I couldn't help it but wonder what it was that she wanted to tell me. I guessed it must be of great urgency, because she seemed quite nervous when she told me. But why would Cho have to tell me something? We aren't friends and we hardly ever talk. I can't come up with a reasonable answer for it.

"Say, Hermione, are you going to Hogsmeade today?" Ginny asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"I am, actually," I replied, "why do you ask?"

"I was wondering if you cared to go with me, since Luna has extra classes today." she said, and her cheeks lightly flushed as she spoke of Luna. A light smile played on my lips and I let out a barely audible chuckle.

"Sure."  
----

Two hours later, I stood before the Three Broomsticks, checking my watch ever so often: I still was a little early, and I was actually getting quite nervous, though I can't figure out why. I still didn't know what to expect, but I don't think it is about the whole Harry affaire anymore. I must've misunderstood it all, like Cho said. But then again, she could've just set that straight on the moment. Why all this?

I breathed out as I turned to look at the people passing by, and my breath formed a little cloud in mid-air. It floated up towards the cloudy sky and disappeared. It had stopped snowing today, but the sky was dark, restless and cold.

"Hey, Hermione."

I turned around on my heels to meet the person behind the voice, and, as expected, Cho came walking down the path. I couldn't help but think that she looked rather cute with her Ravenclaw scarf so snugly wrapped around her neck and her hat pulled down deep over her brow. I looked at her and my nerves faded away: she has a certain calmth about her.

"Hey."

"Say, do you mind if we go for a walk?"

"Oh, no of course not." I replied, a little baffled. It was freezing cold outside, and Cho wanted to go for a walk. Oh well, at least walking might warm me up a little.

I followed the Ravenclaw up the narrow path away from Hogsmeade, until we got to a wider path, and I started walking next to her. The path was framed by trees and bushes, all covered with a thick layer of snow, glistening in the little sunlight that managed to break through the clouded sky. The frost crunched under our feet and the only sound was the steady breathing of Cho next to me.

We walked in silence for some time. At the start I didn't really mind much, but it started to irritate me over time. I came here for a reason, she came here for a reason, so why won't she speak up?

"Cho," I started, looking up, "why did you wanted to talk to me?"

The raven-haired girl stopped in her tracks for a split second, barely noticable, but then walked on, digging her hands deeper in her pockets. Her eyebrows furrowed and she looked troubled.

"Have you ever wondered, how it's like to love someone, who is... oblivious to you?" she started. You could see that she was having a hard time telling this. I found it quite brave of her, since we don't talk often and are actually complete strangers to eachother. I caught her gaze and nodded lightly, encouraging her to go on.

"To know your love will never be answered, to have your heart ache every time you look at that person, to get lost in those eyes which will never bear the glint of love for yourself, to be a nothing to that someone? Have you ever wondered?"

Cho looked at me, her uncertain and defeated eyes gazed in mine before she shifted them back on the path which we still walked on.

"You're in love with Harry, aren't you?" I cautiously asked, afraid to say anything wrong. She really seemed to be lost without hope. I felt a sting of pity for the girl. Even someone like her didn't deserve to feel like she feels now.

She elicited a raw, sad and humourless laugh, shaking her head lightly.

"Oh, no... no, I'm not." the amber-eyed girl sighed, and she sunk back in her thoughts.

I frowned deeply. Cho looked really heartbroken, but she wasn't in love with Harry, like I had assumed at first. Maybe I didn't understand, but a girl like Cho could get any one she would ever fall for. And really, with 'any one', I do actually mean any one. She is such a popular and loved girl, she is smart, handsome, funny (for as far as I know, that is), and really, I am not exaggerating, she is just everything some one could wish for. And I don't say this about everyone and I know that Cho and I aren't exactly the closest people you would ever meet, but I have a lot of respect for the girl. She got over the loss of Cedric and she is still being fought for. Because she is true to herself.

A shiver ran down my spine, and Cho caught my eye.

"Oh, you must be freezing!" she said, and stopped walking. I got the chance to look around a bit. We were now in an area that was still framed with trees, but one giant tree marked the middle of a passage in the trees: it's leafless branches silently swayed in the chill air.

I looked back at Cho, who was taking her scarf off.

"Cho, really, I'm fine, I jus--" I couldn't finish my scentence because Cho had already draped the warm Ravenclaw scarf around my neck. The fine, woolen fabric hugged my neck and shoulders and stopped most of the cold. I dug my face in it, and I took a deep, warm breath: it smelled sweet and I couldn't deny that the taller girl smelled nice.

"Thanks." I smiled at her, and we resumed our walk, now going back to the Three Broomsticks.

It felt as if Cho and I had become a little closer, a little more known about eachother. Though we hadn't spoken much, this little talk was of far more value than the superficial chat we have during a class or so. It seemed as if the dark-haired girl had opened up a little. But then again, I still wondered about what was bothering her so much.

"Cho, can I ask you something?" I asked.

"What is it?"

"Who is it that you're in love with?"

Cho stopped dead in her tracks again. She surely could've expected this question to come up, but it seemed like it still surprised her. She turned to me, eyes ever so uncertain but again with that fierce, hopeful glint in the back. Her eyes shot back and forth but didn't meet mine before she looked up.

"Do you promise that you won't tell any one?" she asked, her voice fragile.

"Of course I won't tell any one."

Cho stepped a little closer to me.

"Well, you see..." she started, her eyes now fully focussed on me.

She stepped even closer, causing me to back away.

"It's complicated, but," Cho continued, still advancing towards me.

I had no control over the situation what so ever, and I took another few steps back, but found myself being pushed against a tree. The rough bark felt cold on my back, and Cho kept closening in on me. I started breathing heavier, what the hell is she doing? What the hell is she _doing_?

She placed both of her hands next to my head, leaving me no way to escape. She leaned in: Cho was now so close that I could feel her breath on me, I could see the bright glint in her golden eyes, I could even feel her warmth. She closed her eyes, leaned in further and pressed her lips against mine.

I inhaled sharply, confused, dumbfounded, surprised: all my emotions tangled up into one, sensless mess. It was a scared, uncertain kiss, but it shocked me none the less. Even more shocking was the fact that I found myself reciprocating to the kiss. When Cho had pulled away, I kissed her back, now pressing my lips against hers.

It could've been instinct, deeply hidden desire or even my subconciousness playing roles, all I knew that it was an act in the middle of an emotional mess: my thoughts had gone blank and the only thing I felt was my heart beating like mad.

But it all ended as quick as it had begun. I harshly broke the kiss and stared into Cho's eyes, who were confused and broken. I suddenly started to feel afraid and uncertain, breathing heavily as all the feelings, thoughts, emotions and questions washed over me. I swallowed hard: I felt uncomfortable with the Ravenclaw still so close to me.

I pushed Cho away, I wanted to get away, somewhere alone, somewhere to think, I_ needed_ to get away.

"H-hermione... I.. I'm sorry..."

I couldn't hear what she said anymore because I started running. I ran and ran, not looking back, not caring about anything but my current thoughts. Tears involuntarily filled my eyes, blurring my vision as I rushed past trees. I ran all the way to the edge of the forest, and there I stopped, knees shaking, breathing unsteady, heart racing and mind spinning.  
----

Hours later I sat in the Gryffindor Common Room, uselessly staring into the fire, feeling cold despite it's warmth. It was late, and most of the other students had gone to bed, including Ron and Harry. It was good, I had all the space I needed, the time to think. I sighed and furrowed my brow. A thousand thoughts and reasons, questions and answers raced throught my mind.

I looked at the Ravenclaw scarf in my hands. I forgot to give it back to her. Rubbing the soft fabric, one question kept popping up in the most urgency, and it was not particularly the question if Cho Chang was in love with _me_, but more likely if I was in love with _her_.  
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_A/n_: Little late with this part, I try and try to write, but I have exams and projects to finish and I can only do this in the little time I have left to do my own things. It is costing me some sleep, yes, but I do want to continue this fic. I also apologize for the fact that it is quite a short chapter. I'll try my best next part, I promise (:

Anyhow, Cho has confessed and Hermione finds herself thinking about her own sexuality. Angst? Drama? Nervous breakdown? Oh, hell yeah.

I'll try to update as soon as possible! Bear with me...  
Read & Review please! n_n I could always use some constructive critism.

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hermione Granger nor do I own any other character from Harry Potter. They all belong to J.K Rowling, sadly.  
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	5. Chapter 5

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_Chapter five: Thoughtful  
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_A/n_: So.. yeah, I hope you all still enjoy this series, I do, in fact, I love writing this because it has so much to do with my personal life (I won't go on about that, and don't ask), that I find it very nice to just pour my own feelings and experiences in this story. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not on the brink of a nervous breakdown right now, but you know.. It's just a nice vent, really.

Well, this part is mostly about Hermione's musings and thoughts about Cho's sort of confession at Hogsmeade last time.. a bit angsty, or so I tried.

Anyhow, I am yapping to much, so, for now, enjoy this chapter :3  
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I couldn't sleep last night. I had been sitting in the Common Room for what felt like hours. I just sat there, thinking, until the fire went out and the room turned cold, and eventually untill the House Elfs came to clean the room up. I went upstairs, but I couldn't sleep in bed either way. I kept tossing and turning, my thoughts going on and on in an endless stream of questions. Vague images filled my head when I dozed off once in a while, until I woke up again. I still managed to get some sleep, since I woke up with Cho's scarf wrapped tightly in my hands. I had safely tucked it under my pillow, I had no idea why I did that, but I just did. After waking up, I still felt puzzled and insecure, though a bit better since it I got a little sleep, and the whole event had had time to sunk in a bit.

I remained upstairs, in the girls sleeping room. I had no energy to get dressed, to move even. So I stayed in bed, the dark-red curtains shut tightly. It was dark inside, but I didn't mind. Shifting my weight, I pulled up my knees to my chin and wrapped my arms around them. I rested my head on my knees, and my hand involuntarily moved up to my face. My fingers slid to my lips and touched them lightly. I turned my gaze down.

Outside, birds were twittering, but I was fine up here.

Sighing, I closed my eyes for a moment. The whole scene from yesterday started playing again once the darkness engulfed me, and I quickly opened my eyes. I didn't want to remember, I didn't want to see it all again, I didn't want it to make me feel any worse than I feel now. I breathed out slowly, shakily. It all wasn't supposed to have happened. Cho wasn't supposed to like me. I wasn't supposed to kiss her back. It all made no sense anymore. I made no sense anymore.

I calmed down after a moment. I assumed that the whole situations wasn't as bad as I thought it was. It was just one big misunderstanding, and I had acted like an idiot. But then again, the one problem was why I actually kissed Cho back. A thousand reasons filled my head, and somewhere deep inside I knew that it were just lame excuses, simple cover-ups, but I couldn't quite get a grip on that feeling, and it frustrated me.

And, yes, I must confess, I can sometimes be a control-freak. I like the world the most as it is as I want it to be, something else won't do. And what happened yesterday was out of my league, and it had hit me like a brick in the head. It just happened, and I reacted without thinking straight.

Sighing, I wondered what time it was. Taking a peek through the curtains surrounding my bed, I looked outside through the window. It was snowing once again and a weak bit of sunlight lit the room. Assuming that it was around noon, I closed the curtains again and frowned. I still didn't have the urge to jump out of bed and study or something. I wasn't hungry either, I wasn't yearning to read a book or to do some homework. Just being here in bed seemed fine. I lay myself down, staring up at the ceiling of the bed.

My thoughts drifted off again. I couldn't help but wonder how Cho would feel now. I mean, she had, in a way, confessed to me. I could see, that when I was talking to her the other day, that it took her a lot of effort and guts to tell about how she felt. I can see the problem she was struggling with though. I mean, if I were to tell some one I like him, it wasn't the easiest job for me to do: I couldn't even begin to understand how it must feel to confess to another girl.

I deeply inhaled as more questions popped into my head. They just kept on shifting and changing, never stopping to process what I'm feeling.  
_For how long has Cho liked me? Why do I feel so bad about this all? How come I never noticed anything? Why does she like me anyways? What if I had hurt Cho? Do I like her back? _They just kept going on and on, making my head ache the more I thought about them. One little thought reciprocated to the other and linked onto eachother, in an never-ending chain of questions and worries.

My head felt warm, but my body was cold. Laying one of my hand on my brow, the cold it radiated soothed me, it sent of a certain calmth, and the mental storm seemed to stop for a moment. I breathed in deeply. I pressed both my handes to either temple and softly massaged them. _Why do I keep stuck with these thoughts?_

Groaning, I yawned a bit and streched out. I was actually feeling pretty tired. Couldn't blame me though, I had nearly slept last night. I crawled under the sheets, trying to get and stay warm. Trying my best to preserve my thought for another moment, for some time when I was mentally fit and able to think straight, I closed my eyes.

I dozed off surprisingly quickly.  
----

"Hermoine?"

I grumbled something incomprehensable, turning away from the sound of the voice, pulling up the blanket to my face, digging into it, trying to hide. _So warm_.

"Hermione."

A huge yawn escaped my lips and I streched out, now turning to the source of the sound. I found Ginny standing next to my bed, a concerned look on her face. The curtains were open, and it was dark outside.

_How long have I been sleeping?_

"Wh--" I let out another yawn, "What time is it?" My voice said, and it sounded alien. It was a rough, unsecure and hurt sound, and it sounded so unreal to me... so different. My eyelids were heavy and I, with difficulty, supressed another yawn.

"It's past eight." Ginny said, and she proceeded to sit down on the bed, not breaking eyecontact with me. She pushed some of her hair behind her ear and sighed, "Is there something wrong? You've been up here all day."

I propped myself up a little, and I tried to shake off all the images and thoughts that had unawarily bugged my mind while I was fast asleep. I couldn't blame Ginny for being worried and coming to seek me: I never call in sick, I never skip class, I'm always in and around school... I'm just always there. Today was different, and for a reason. A reason I wanted to keep for myself.

"Ah, I just don't feel too well."

"How come?"

"I don't know. Must've caught the flu or something." I managed a weak smile, and Ginny seemed less concerned. Somewhere, it gave me a nice feeling, knowing that there were still people who cared about me, who missed me when I wasn't around. The same couldn't be said about Ron, neither about Harry.

"Hmh." Ginny hummed. She stood up, straightening out the blanket.

"You should get some rest. You seem awfully tired." She smiled as she took off.

Murmering a soft 'thank you', I flopped back down on the pillow, pulling the blanket up to my chest. I sighed and closed my eyes for a bit. I would've never in my life expected that I would feel so tired and so hurt because of plainly _thinking_.  
----

A few hours later, I still found myself pondering and questioning myself, my feelings. I just couldn't let it go, no matter how hard I tried, it would linger and linger on. Was my subconsciousness playing parts? I couldn't tell. I couldn't tell anything which I was sure of right now.

I turned around in bed, entirely wrapping myself in warmth. I couldn't stop shaking, I felt warm from the inside (my head felt like exploding), but my limbs were stone cold, even though I was wearing pyjama's and I was being wrapped in thick blankets. Even though the fire was on in the room.

Trying to get my mind focussed on getting some more sleep, I closed my eyes. I thought about the classes I had tomorrow, and they were not many: just Ancient Runes, Potions, Defense Against The Dark Arts and a double hour of Herbology...

_Strange_.

Even though I hadn't done a single thing on homework (except for the Herbology essay), I didn't really care. I didn't care, and I couldn't afford to care because more important things were on my mind right now. The opportunity to call in sick even crossed my mind, but I quickly dismissed that.

I grunted as I turned around again. I couldn't find a comfortable position, my eyes were itchy and they were burning, I started to develop a headache and I was still as cold as ice. I felt like I hadn't slept in days, my mind was still sorting out all kinds of things, I was shivering non-stop and my stomach knotted together everytime I recalled the event in my head.

_Is this how you are supposed to feel when you're in love? _

There it was.

_Did I really...?_

I sat up straight, my breathing suddenly shakily, my heart feeling heavy and an unpleasant feeling crept up my chest. No. No, no, no no. I couldn't be. I shouldn't be. She's a girl, I can't be.

_But you just said--_No!

_Don't you deny it._

I deeply inhaled, trying to steady my breathing. I entangled my hands in my hair, pushing it backwards and letting my head rest upon them. I couldn't be. I simply couldn't. I would've noticed earlier. I breathed out again and slid my hands out of my hair, causing it to fall back again. I stared down, not really seeing anything. Too deep in thought, I pulled up my legs and wrapped my arms around them. I could still feel my heart pouding in my chest, though it wasn't supposed to be. I wasn't supposed to feel like this. _Why am I feeling like this?_

I couldn't possibly... like Cho. I mean, I... I just couldn't be in love with her. I would've noticed before, wouldn't I? I would've noticed.. I simply couldn't be.

I tilted my head up, and my han slid to my lips again.

_Is that why..?_

No. The fact that I had kissed her back was simply just.. the heat of the moment. Any one would react in similair ways. The reason couldn't be me liking Cho. It was impossible. If I liked girls in the first place, I would've discovered that earlier, and I certainly wouldn't have fallen in love with Cho Chang.

With that thought still lingering in my mind, I slumped back onto the bed, trying to relax. Rolling over and pressing my head deep into the pillow, I tiredly pulled the blanket up to my head. Pressing my eyes closed, I dismissed all thoughts and questions that swarmed my mind.

It took quite some time to fall asleep, but eventually, I drifted off to a slumber full of distressing dreams.  
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_A/n_: Well I've finally finished this part, I'm sorry it took so long, but school was being an ass and I kind of had a little downfall myself, not only writing-wise. So yeah, but here it is, and I will promise that the next chap will be updated sooner!

Again, I would like to recieve some reviews and even some constructive critism, so I can do everything I can to improver my writing. I will use your advises to the best I can provide (:

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Hermione Granger, Cho Chang or any other characters used. They all belong to J. K Rowling.  
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	6. Chapter 6

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Chapter six: Talk with me?  
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I woke up with a start, not knowing for how long I've slept, feeling lost in tracks of time. All the things that had happened yesterday just seemed like a dream, a fading nightmare. I rolled myself over and hastily pulled open the curtains, to be greeted by a clear, bright sun hanging in the somewhat clearer skies, the light that had been softly and gently broken by the window shining onward in the room.

Flopping back down in bed, I sighed groggily. I had hardly slept so far, my subconciousness bringing up the thoughts I had pushed away, forming confusing dreams. I had relived the moment in Hogsmeade again, but it didn't seem to bother me this time as much as it first did.

_No, _I corrected myself._ I could not possibly like Cho._

I mean, this is just all a phase in my life or something. They warned me for this kind off stuff back at home, right? Stuff like that just happens when you grow up. I stood up with that thought flooding my mind: I could simply not really be in love with her. I am not... a lesbian.. _No, I certainly am not_. I shook the thought away.

I quietly slipped into my slippers and hurried off to the bathrooms.  
====

The first half of the day passed in a blur, and I found the classes a great relief because I had to focus on the information given and not on my own thoughts. I hadn't seen Cho all day long, and that also eased my mind. I could feel I was calmer. At least calmer than I was last night.

"Don't forget, read pages 243 and 244 before Wednesday!" Umbridge chimed through class while everybody stumbled to the door, eager to get away. All the students hated Umbridge so it wasn't unusual that nobody listened to her.

As I was about to walk away, a hand on my shoulder turned me around and I looked into the afwul and slightly wrinkled face of Umbridge. She smiled her fake smile.

"What is is, professor?" I tried my best to sound suprised. Oh, how I hated that woman. She looked so nice, but after I had heard the story of her giving Harry ''detention'' and the painful and horrid methods she used to make students more obedient, I learned to look through that façade of her. But I wouldn't let her know, oh no.

"Miss Granger, dear, you looked a bit... off today. Is there something wrong?"

She caught me off-guard an I tried not to gasp at the question. How could she have noticed? I blinked a few times and then put up the best fake smile I could muster, "It's nothing, professor, I'm just tired."

She kept looking at me for a while. I studied her face and though it radiated worry, her eyes were stone cold. Umbridge still hadn't said anything and it all became a little awkward, so I reassured her once more that I was fine and walked out of class.

Once I heard the door shut behind me I breathed out, relieved but also feeling a bit uncomfortable again. Am I that obvious or is Umbridge just up to something? I wouldn't be suprised after all the vague rules and useless restrictments she'd come up with so far. I frowned as I walked around the corner. Nothing seemed to make any sense anymore. I sighed deeply and proceeded to go to lunch.  
====

"Say, Hermoine, could I borrow that essay on Herbology?" Harry asked, scratching the back of his head, his eyes shooting back and forth, nervously anticipating a lecture.

"Yeah, fine." I absentmindedly said, barely noticing the surprised expression on his face. I tried concentrating on taking another sandwich from the platter, but my eyes drifted off on their own accord. They went past all the students, on to the Ravenclaw table and there they rested on a familiar pair of dark brown eyes. Which were looking back at me.

My stomach suddenly lurched when the mouth belonging to those eyes and person smiled at me, and I hastily moved my gaze back to my plate. My breath choked in my throath and I instantly questioned myself why I reacted like this. I could practically feel that Cho was still looking at me as I cautiously kept my eyes down. _Why does she make me feel this way, honestly?_ I put the sandwich back, not hungry anymore.

Daring to look up again, Ron looked at me with a questioning expression on his face. It didn't took long before he said what was on his mind.

"'Moine, are you okay? You've been acting a bit weird lately."

"Yeah, what's up?" Harry added. I shot both of them a semi-suprised glace while still trying my best to fight back the sudden nausea that had struck me. _Just, stay calm._

"I'm fine, really. I'm just tired." I assured them both, flashing them a brief smile. Then I looked at Ron, "And what do you consider as ''weird''?" I added with a snarl. He shrunk back a little, an apologetic look in his bright blue eyes.

"Nothing, you've just been a little... well you seem a bit off." the redhead hestitantly said, his eyes nervously shooting to Harry a couple of times, with a look on his face I could not understand.

I could not believe my ears. Umbridge had exactly said the same a mere half hour ago. It seemed to me as if my feelings were scribbled all over my face, for everyone to read. I seriously began to doubt my ability to hide all the things I felt from others. Because I don't want anyone to know how I feel unless I tell them exactly how I feel. Maybe I am just that obvious. Whatever it was, I felt defeated and I grew angry.

"I'm _fine_." I hissed to Ron and I stood up, hoisted my bag over my shoulder and walked away, leaving both Ron and Harry clueless.  
====

I sat on a cold rock at the top of one of the many hills at the Hogwarts grounds. I sighed, and followed the little cloud of air that escaped with it float up and disappear. It had snowed again, causing everything to be coated in white, and it was even colder than it was a few days ago. _This is going to be one lousy winter_, I thought to myself, casting my gaze down again.

A few people dared to go outside, I could see the little figures ice-skating on the lake and having a snowball fight. I made sure I was far from anyone though. I really just needed some time to think. And out here, the cool air made my thoughts very clear, like a fresh breeze had sorted them all out. But still, I couldn't fit it all in.

It was just too... too odd, it was all so confusing. I'm used to having things clear and attaching my feelings to a fact which made it make sense. But now, I just couldn't. It's not like I can't say what I feel without having the support of facts, but I'm just no good at it.

I frowned deeply as I tried to sort out all the things I felt right now, which were all a mixture of confusion, worry and insecurity. The heaviest of all questions that still lingered in the back of my head was why it had all happened like that and why I felt so weird about it all. And it felt like I couldn't even trust myself or my thoughts anymore, because I didn't know the answer.

And then again, I couldn't help but to have a little flashback of what happened two days ago. The warmth of her coming close, the confusion, her warm and soft lips_... _A faint blush crept up my cheeks as I recalled the moment-_ wait, what? Warm, soft lips? What the?_

_Goddamn, Hermoine_, I thought, my cheeks uncomfortably warm out in the cold, _why?_ This is why it all made no sense anymore. I can't clear it all out, I can't tell why I feel like this... I just can't fit the pieces together.

"Hiya." a soft, uncertain voice that was merely a whisper put a thundering halt to my thoughts. A chill ran down my spine; not because of the cold, but because I recognised the voice. It belonged to Cho.

I hastily stood up and turned around to meet her, snow crunching under my feet. The only thing that I could think of was that I found it exceptionally brave that she even dared to face me after what happened. As I looked into her eyes, a calming feeling dawned on me, and I could feel my shoulders sagging lower as my muscles relaxed.

"Oh, h-hey." I managed to stammer out, too full of surprise and anxiety to form a coherent scentence, "What are you doing here?"

Her eyes darted to the ground in uncertainty or maybe even shame, but I kept looking at her. I could see a flicker in them behind their dark lashes. Her jet-black hair gently waved around in the chill breeze, framing her face in quite an adorable way and- _no! Don't think like that, just... argh!_

"I was looking for you. I need to... explain some things." she said, her eyes moving upward again, meeting mine. I could see the inner struggle she was having. _Just like me_, I thought.

"And, well, could you meet me just outside the Great Hall after dinner? I really need to talk to you." A weak smile formed on her lips as she spoke, trying not to press the matter to much. I tried to briefly smile back, but it was like I was just frozen on the spot. I didn't like the planning of this talk at all, but on the other hand, I nearly screamed for some explanation.

So I faintly nodded.

"... Okay, well... bye then." Cho said. She opened her mouth once more but quickly chose not to, and then she hestitantly walked away.

After she was out of sight, I dropped back down on the rock again, sighing. I looked up at the sky, more confused then I ever was.  
====

I couldn't help but to be nervous at dinner, recalling the talk Cho and I had. The tone of her voice just didn't seem right and I was anxious about what she wants to tell me. I can't really guess it, though I know it must have something to do with the kiss she gave me, but I barely know the girl so I don't know what to expect.

Speaking of the devil: a wave of nausea struck me when I saw a glimpse of Cho sitting somewhere right of me at the Ravenclaw table. I looked away quickly and while trying my best to swallow, I faintly decided that if I ate one more thing I would certainly throw up. So I let my roast chicken for what it was.

Taking a sip of some pumpkin juice, I tried to calm myself down. _There's no need to be nervous, damn it._

I swiftly avoided Ron and Harry's gazes, who were obviously still questioning my behaviour, while I tried to pour myself some extra juice as normally and relaxed as I could. Making sure that I was breathing evenly again, I took another sip and the cold liquid eased my sudden stomach aches a little.

The remainder of dinner passed quickly, and I would occasionally talk to Ron or Harry without having to answer further questions of them. I spent the mere half hour left by lifelessly poking my food with a fork, thinking about Cho and the thoughts that still spooked around in my head.

When the desserts popped up on the empty plates, replacing the little food that was left over, I started to feel nervous again. The anxiety had gone away, but now, as my meeting with Cho drew closer and closer, it appeared again. I could feel my stomach lurch again and I stifled a groan.

Why am I acting like this? I should be happy that she wants to explain things after what she did, but all I feel is this anxiety to see her and talk to her. I haven't felt like this since I had met Victor... No, no no, I did like Victor, but I do _not_ like Cho. The feeling might be the same, but now I'm just nervous to talk to Cho because of the weird situation we're in.. _yes, yes that's it._

I blinked a couple of times at the turn my thoughts had taken._I am seriously losing it._"Er, Hermione, are you coming with us or what?" Harry's voice ripped me out of my thoughts. I had clearly been spacing out while I was thinking: most of the students had finished eating and had left the Hall already, making the now nearly empty room look even bigger.

Making up an excuse not to come, I told him that I needed to go to the library to do some research on an essay for Ancient Runes. He seemed to buy it and staggered off.

A sigh of relief escaped my throath. I hated to lie to Harry, the boy deserves to know the truth because doesn't gets to know that often, but I just couldn't tell him I was going to Cho. Even though he's still not sure of it himself, he has a crush on the girl. And it wouldn't be nice for him if I said I was going to Cho because, _well Harry, to tell you the truth, she kissed me._

I made sure that Harry was around the corner before I proceeded to go there myself. The nerves made their way back up again as I walked. The stone walls carried the echoes of my footsteps as I walked through the doors and rounded the corner. And there she stood, near the staircase.

Just outside the Great Hall, like she said. I could see her eyes flicker once she found mine, even from this distance. Resisting the urge to wave –and to puke- because I knew it would be an awkward, unsure wave, I walked towards her.  
====

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_A/n_: hurhurhur, cliffhanger! I'm so evil [: Okay I suck at making cliffhangers, but, I've already have quite a long chapter so you guys will just have to wait and see =D Speaking of waiting: I am off hiatus and I am SO SORRY that you had to wait SO DAMN LONG! But I'm back to business now so I will make it up to you all! Please forgive me? =D

Next up is Cho confessing her feelings. But is she the only one confessing? Tee-hee! Find out next time n_n

_**Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series. J. K. Rowling does, in fact.  
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	7. Chapter 7

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__Chapter seven: Apology accepted.  
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After I'd met up with Cho, she took me to a quiet place, somewhere on the first floor. It wasn't curfew yet so it was okay for us to just sit there and talk. The thought alone made my stomach knot together with nerves. But why? It wasn't like something was going to happen.

I tried to make eye-contact with her, but she refused and looked down. She sat across of me, her back against the wall and her knees pulled up to her chin. Cho looked so fragile right now, but on the other hand very strong and confident. I could see it in her eyes though they were casted downward, hiding under their dark lashes.

We sat in silence for a while before Cho spoke up.

"Hermione," she outed my name so carefully that my heart jumped, "I... I can't tell you how much I hate myself for... for what I did to you. I shouldn't have... kissed you like that," Her voice dripped with apology and Cho looked up, her chocolate brown eyes swimming in unshed tears.

"But, I just couldn't help myself, you know... just having you around, catching a single glimpse of you, your beautiful face and looking into your eyes.. it drives me crazy. You drive me crazy.. and, I just couldn't control myself anymore.. I'm so sorry."

"Cho, don't.. apologize, okay?" I said, not being able to see Cho in tears, "It's not your fault. Things like that just happen, it's no big deal."

"Not a big deal?" Cho let out a humourless laugh, "How is kissing the girl you like.. no, the girl you _love_ not a big deal, Hermione?" as she spoke, her eyebrows pulled together and a single tear escaped her eye, quickly followed by more. She elicited a sob, but continued.

"I hurt you, I know I did... I was being foolish and I can't tell you enough how sorry I am. And I wanted to become friends so badly, just to.. just to be with you. But you always seemed to be.. disgusted of me."

Cho wanted to continue but I lay a finger on her lips, crawling closer to her. She still cried silently, tears overflowing her eyes. Those wonderful brown orbs that didn't deserve the hurt I could see in them. Cho didn't deserve to be feeling like this. Heck, nobody did.

"Cho, listen to me. I am anything but disgusted of you. How in the world could I, could even somebody be disgusted of you? You are wonderful. You're smart, funny, great to be around and..."

I paused for a mere second, not sure if I should finish my scentence. I drew in a breath and looked Cho in the eyes, "And you're a really pretty girl, Cho. You really are. I guess I just envy you. I couldn't be better than you so I just acted so.. hostile towards you. I'm sorry if I ever let you feel like I hated you."

I was surprised that those words really came out of my mouth. They just floated out, I didn't even think about them, but I knew I'd spoken the truth. But do I _envy_ Cho? I never really noticed before, but now I come to think about it, it does explain why I always acted so angry towards her. Maybe it even explained why I was surpressing my feelings towards her so much.. I'd been lying to myself all along. I withdrew my finger from her mouth and cupped her face.

"Do you really mean that?"

I heard the change in her voice and I smiled.

"Of course I do."

Cho managed to smile through her tears and I felt relieved. I hated to see her like this, her eyes full of agony and insecurity... Wait, what? I mentally shook my head and focused on Cho again. I drew my other hand to her face and stroked her cheek, running my thumb across her face to wipe away a stray tear.

I couldn't tear my eyes away from Cho's. They had this attraction towards me I couldn't explain. My heart skipped a beat as I found myself leaning in closer to her face. I could see the confusion flicker in Cho's eyes. The same confusion I felt: what was I doing?

But I had no intention of stopping. I just couldn't tell myself to stop. Did I really want this? Was I so wrong all the time? Had I really been denying that I did like Cho all the time?

I could now see the little freckles on her face, her lashes covered in mascara and her beautiful dark brown eyes underneath them. And I still didn't stop.

"Hermione? What.. are you...?"

All I could do was to smile at Cho, constantly gaining in on that little distance that was still between our lips. My thoughts had shut down, all that there was now was this feeling of longing, and the feeling of unsurity. But I pushed that unsurity away. Because I _wanted_ this.

Our lips were now mere millimetres away, and I breathed in her sweet, musk-like scent that sent a shiver down my spine. How had I been able to not feel the attraction towards Cho I felt now? How had I been able to keep fooling myself?

"Cho.. I'm sorry that I kept fooling myself.." I whispered against her lips. I closed my eyes and crawled a little closer to her, "I do like you."

I pressed my lips against hers, sending a jolt through my body. I could hear and feel Cho taking in a gasp of air and I used the opportunity to really kiss her. I didn't want to push it too far so I kept my tongue firmly in place. I broke the kiss after a few seconds and backed away a little. But Cho's hands snaked across my waist, pulling me closer again and she kissed me back, perhaps a little bit harder than she intended because she knocked us both over.

She landed on top of me and a blush crept up her face. Cho was literally straddling me, her legs at both sides of my waist, but I didn't mind. I grabbed her robes and pulled her in for another kiss.

Cho pressed her body against mine as she parted her lips and gently slid her tongue in. I took a sharp breath but didn't pull away. I was liking this too much to stop. My hands roamed across her back and I searched for a way under her robes, which I found. Her skin felt warm and smooth. She hissed as my cold hands stroked all the way up her spine and down again, down her waist and back up.

Suddenly, I was aware of the fact that we were lying in the middle of a hallway and I harshly pulled away.

"What's the matter?" Cho said as I pushed her off of me, her expression suddenly unsure again. I smiled a reassuringly at the girl. I still couldn't believe that I had been denying what I just felt.

"I just realized that we were making out in the middle of the hall. So I think we'd better go somewhere else."

Cho grinned and got up. She offered me her hand and pulled me up, drawing me close to her into a hug. I pressed her against me and closed my eyes. I felt weird and out of place. But no matter how weird it felt for me to like a girl, I did like Cho after all and there was nothing I could do about it.  
====

After I closed the door of the Room of Requirement, where we had moved to for some privacy, Cho sneaked up behind me and seductively purred my name in my ear. It sent a shiver down my spine. She snaked her hands around me and undid my robe. Cho planted kisses in my neck as she also undid her own robe.

Her soft and warm hands continued to roam over my waist as she gently bit my earlobe. A moan escaped from my lips while my thoughts tumbled over eachother. Though I knew I liked Cho, was I really ready to do this already? It's not that I don't like it, but is it the right thing to do? To take it so fast while I'm not really sure what I feel for the girl.

Cho's hands slipped under my shirt and traced circles all over my abdomen. I trembled at her touch, so desperate for more as she kept on kissing my neck, followed up by the occasional lick or whispering of my name. It felt so natural to do this, but then again, I questioned if it was right to go so fast.

I'd better take a shot at taking it slow rather than going too fast and causing problems.

"C-cho." I couldn't speak coherently because of her constant feeling me up, so I tried again, my voice more stern this time. Her hands stopped and she removed her mouth from my neck.

"Something wrong?" she sounded surprised and unsure.

I turned around in her arms and took a step back. I could see the confusion in her eyes I didn't want to cause, so I briefly smiled.

"No, but I just think that... you know, we shouldn't do this already," I said, trying to make her understand what I felt, "I mean, I've never had this kind of relationship before, and.. I'm not sure what I feel for you, so, I think it's best that we... take it a little slower."

Cho's shoulders dropped but she nodded.

"I understand. It's new for me too to be with a girl, though it really doesn't differ much from one with a boy, I guess. But, yeah, like I said, I understand. I want you to feel right about me and what we might have, so, if you want, we'll take it slow," she said, much to my relief, "Is it okay for me to hold you though?" Cho laughed.

"Of course it is." I smiled back.

She took my hand and walked me over to the nearest sofa that stood in the room. The elder girl plopped down and pulled me onto her lap, enveloping me with her arms. I breathed out, feeling comfortably and warm in her arms. I leaned against her chest, feeling her breath in and out evenly.

"Cho, can I ask you a few questions?"

"Sure."

I thought for a moment, not knowing which one of the many questions I had I should ask first. I started with an easy one to keep the topic light.

"Have you liked... girls before?"

Cho laughed a little, "No, I haven't, actually. You have the honor of being the first. I don't know, after Cedric, I guess I didn't want another boy to lose him like I lost Cedric again. Or maybe not."

She seemed to think for a moment, her last word still lingering in the air.

"I think that people just fall in love with someone, no matter what your preferences are, no matter if somebody is the other gender, even if they don't know if they are a lesbian or something. It just happens, I mean, love is love, no matter what."

I hummed a little in agreement. What she said was true, if you really love someone, it shouldn't matter how they look, how they act or which gender they are. What matters then is that he or she loves you back like you love them.

"But, you just.. fell for me like that? No gradual acception or something?" I asked, a bit flushed at having to ask Cho this question.

"Hmh, I guess I didn't fall for you right away, to be honest, though I was pretty much head over heels by the time I did. At first, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to be sure. I mean, I was in love with a girl. But, after a while, I decided that I was okay with it. I thought, screw all the people who might be disgusted with it, screw society. I want to be in love with who ever I want."

"Okay, I guess I can relate to that. I mean, after I kissed you back, I first was kind of denying that I liked you back. But, I cleared my mind and figured out that I do like you." I replied.

"And I'm glad you did so." Cho said, planting a kiss on the top of my head.

I felt a little queasy all the sudden. Hearin Cho saying she'd fall for me like that, kind of took me off guard. I never expected any one to be in love with me. Never did I expected Cho to be. An uneasy feeling, an insecure feeling crept up in my chest and I pressed myself to Cho, trying to cast it away with her warmth and comfort.

But I had to say it.

"But, Cho.. why would you ever.. like a girl like me?"  
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_A/n:_ BWAHAHA. Another cliffhanger. I am oh so evil. Is Hermione getting insecure? Is she now instantly doubting her feeling though she'd just said she liked Cho? But yeah, be happy, Cho and Hermione are together now! You will find the rest out in the next chapter, which will mainly be talking like this one I guess.

By the way, I am planning to round this fic up, still a few chaps to go before the end I guess. So yeah, be prepared :)

**Read&Review **please! And don't just say that I need to update, because I will, I promise. Tell me, did you like it, did you hate it? What did you like, what did you hate? I need to improve here, people! So please, review! I'd kill for some constructive critism~

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Hermione Granger or Cho Chang. Neither do I own the Harry Potter series.  
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	8. Chapter 8

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_Chapter eight: Insecurities & playing games  
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Little flashback since I cut off the previous chapter quite harsly (:**  
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"_Hmh, I guess I didn't fall for you right away, to be honest, though I was pretty much head over heels by the time I did. At first, I wasn't sure. I didn't want to be sure. I mean, I was in love with a girl. But, after a while, I decided that I was okay with it. I thought, screw all the people who might be disgusted with it, screw society. I want to be in love with who ever I want."_

"_Okay, I guess I can relate to that. I mean, after I kissed you back, I first was kind of denying that I liked you back. But, I cleared my mind and figured out that I do like you." I replied._

"_And I'm glad you did so." Cho said, planting a kiss on the top of my head._

_I felt a little queasy all the sudden. Hearin Cho saying she'd fall for me like that, kind of took me off guard. I never expected any one to be in love with me. Never did I expected Cho to be. An uneasy feeling, an insecure feeling crept up in my chest and I pressed myself to Cho, trying to cast it away with her warmth and comfort. _

_But I had to say it._

"_But, Cho.. why would you ever.. like a girl like me?"  
====_

Though I couldn't see Cho's face, I knew she must've looked dumbfounded, and somewhere in her eyes there must've flickered some anger, judging from her reaction.

"What? You're kidding, right?" she practically growled, seemingly not getting why I really was so insecure about myself.

"No."

"I...y-you..." Cho stuttered a bit, fighting with the right words, "Listen, Hermione... you are without a doubt the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. And I've seen a lot of pretty girls, but you the most beautiful of them all. You, of all them, are the one I fell in love with."

"Yeah, I get that," I said, my self-esteem raised by just a little bit by Cho's words, "But I mean, what do you like about me?" I asked it quite cautiously, afraid to hear her reaction. I didn't blame her, she just didn't understand that a girl like me, who had boys repel me all my life -except for Viktor- was so wanted by her so suddenly. It just didn't make any sense to me.

"Hermione..." her voice nearly broke saying my name, and I turned around in her arms. Her brown eyes were filled with hurt and love, and it made my heart jump in my chest.

"Please, don't say such things. You really are a beautiful girl. Everytime I look in your eyes, everytime I see you smile, everytime I hear your laugh, my heart just feels so heavy with love for you that it hurts. I don't understand why you can't see that yourself."

I managed a little smile, quite glad with Cho's exclamation, but it was quite easy for her to say that she felt like that, but how I felt was a whole other thing. If I was insecure, those feelings wouldn't just instantly dissolve if someone said how beautiful I was. It was a very deeply rooted thing, caused by so many boys, and girls, who had bullied me in primary school. And here on Hogwarts too, Malfoy for example. All those things didn't really keep my self-esteem on a high level.

She continued.

"Every guy who has walked past you in all these years has been a total idiot. Every one who didn't bother to see the great person you are has been too. You're just so lovely, caring, friendly and just... every single part of you is so wonderful. You're just being ridiculous, Hermione."

"But... I just.." I sighed, "Why me? Why not somebody else, somebody who is prettier than me?"

"Don't you get it? I fell in love with you because I don't want anybody else but you." Cho said, her eyes sparkling with conviction, her hands on my shoulders squeezing me a little for emphasis. She leaned in and gave me a brief kiss on my lips before she focused her eyes back upon mine.

"I can understand that you're insecure, I've been too. I still am sometimes. But just know that I want you because you're the girl that colours my world. After Cedric... passed away, I thought no one would ever make me feel like I felt back then. But you did. You're my girl, don't tell yourself otherwise," she added, her eyebrows furrowing cutely with worry above her with love filled eyes.

A smile tugged on the corners on my lips and I gladly let it appear on my face. I just couldn't believe she said that, without a single hint of doubt in her voice. Cho hadn't completely taken away my insecurity, but she certainly took away my doubts of why she would ever like me.

The black-haired girl smiled back at me, relief flickering in her eyes. Pressing her forehead against mine, and closing her eyes, she whispered,

"I won't ever let you go. Remember that."

Cho wanted to plant another kiss on my lips but I refused. She seemed confused, but I said that I wasn't really convinced with all this. I blurted out things about my childhood, about how I'd never been truly loved by someone and about us, that this was all just such a big chance that I surely needed some time.

I started to sob while I told her that I wanted to fall in love with and that I knew that I liked her, but that I just didn't feel like I could just now. Cho whispered soothing words all the time and seemed to understand how I felt. I was glad she did.

After a while, I told all that was on my mind, and Cho put her hand under my chin and made me look in her lovely brown eyes. She smiled at me, her own eyes swimming in unshed tears. She wiped away a stray tear with her thumb and leaned in for a kiss.

I gladly let her.  
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I was walking back from Cho's and my own little meeting, silently trudging through the halls and staircases, the paintings on the wall sleeping silently. It wasn't curfew yet so I was glad that I could just make it in time to get to the Gryffindor Common Room. While I was on automatic pilot, my feet taking me where I needed to go, my thoughts were rumbling inside me like a thunderstorm. Just when I thought I was rid of them.

What Cho said and how she felt about me really hit me hard, but in a good way. I felt so good that there was at least one person who liked every bit of me. Then again, I was pressed on some facts, for instance, the fact that there are still too many people who disgust me. But I refuse to think about that. I figured that I'd better be happy with what I have now.

And my feelings for Cho seem to grow every second. I realized that I really did like her, especially after what she told me this evening. I was just surpressing those feelings all the time. But now that I let them roam free through me, I felt like she might just be right for me. I've never really been in love, but I'm beginning to think that Cho could be the first person I'd ever really fall for.

"Password?"

I came back to my senses and murmered the password to the painting that gave access to the Common Room. It swung back and I climbed through, feeling the warmth of the crackling fire already.

"Hey, Hermione, where have you been? We lost you after dinner!" Harry said as soon as he saw me coming into the room. He and Ron were playing a game of Wizards Chess, broken pieces of white and black chessmen lying all over the table.

"I was with Cho," I said, and I felt a blush creeping up to my cheeks. I never thought that I would actually be embarrassed to say that I was with Cho. Harry's attention was now fully on me.

"Really? I thought that you hated her."

"No, I just never knew her well enough. We just had a little chat, it was fun," I prevented myself from saying to him that I would never hate Cho. Flopping down on a couch, the black-haired boy continued his interrogation.

"What did you talk about?" he said, and I could swear I saw a little sparkle in his eye. This couldn't be good, I just felt that it couldn't be good. I swallowed hard before I answered.

"Oh, you know... boys, homework, just.. chitchat." I stammered. I was never a good liar, except in times when it was my only rescue. I just hoped that Harry wouldn't see through my unability to lie, and he seemed to buy it. But the reply was not exactly what I wanted to hear.

"Did she... mention me?"

I was silent for a while, my breath stuck in my throath and my heart started beating like mad. I took the time to let my breath flow regularly again to pretend as if I was thinking if Cho mentioned Harry.

"...No, she didn't, actually. I'm sorry, Harry."

"Oh. No, that's okay, don't bother," he said, though he was visibly disappointed.

I stood up, told the guys that I would go to bed early and said them goodnight. Walking up the stairs, I could hear my heart beating so frantically that I was afraid it would jump out of my chest with the next beat. I felt so uneasy and crammed up in the little staircase that I rushed to my bed and flopped down on it, taking deep breaths of air to calm myself down.

Counting my heartbeats, I noticed it slowed down after sometime.

Taking a deep breath, I tried to overcome the shock that Harry was still in love with Cho. If he would find out that Cho and me were pratically together, he would freak out. He wouldn't even look at me anymore. I just knew that this was going wrong somehow, someday.

I sighed and rubbed my hands in a frustrated manner over my face, closing my eyes briefly. So much had happened today, and just when I thought that the endless stream of confusing and worrying thoughts had stopped, this had to happen.

_Well, at least he doesn't know. Yet._

If me and Cho were able to keep it a secret until he had gotten over his crush on her, we might just be ablt to pull this off without Harry hating me. If not, then I would have to find a way to let him know that both Cho and I never intended to hurt him this way but that we just simply fell in love. I didn't really want to think about that last option too much.

Opening my eyes, I sat up in my bed, wide awake. All sorts of new questions floated through my mind. Should I tell Cho? Or does she know already? What if Harry found out? They made my head so heavy, made me want to go to sleep so badly, to let it all rest. But I knew that I couldn't sleep because of all those questions prodding at my consciousness as well as my subconsciousness. So if I even could manage to fall asleep, the events of today would even follow me in my dreams.

I was afraid to lose Harry, but also afraid that, if I would restrict myself around Cho too much because of that, I would lose her as well. There were so many things that I would have to lie about to Harry if I wanted to spend the day with Cho, for example. I wasn't looking forward to lying to my best friend. And what if he asked Cho out on a date or something? Would she have to lie too or would she accept and give him fake hope that would be burned down eventually?

All those things just made me feel so mentally exhausted and... hurt. I couldn't believe that thinking could hurt you. I didn't want any more problems and worries. I never wanted them in the first place.

So for now, I decided that I would first see where things with Cho would take me, and after that, I would consider the subject Harry Potter. It was too much to think about now. I couldn't bother Cho with my constant worrying and questioning, nor with my insecurities. I was sure that she could think of a way to make me forget what worries I have and just take me out of them.

At least, I hoped she would.

I slid into my shirt in which I slept after I undid myself of my robes and uniform. I didn't feel like taking a shower so just brushed my teeth before I quietly slipped under the covers, pulling them up to my chin. The warmth of the thick blankets engulfed me and I pulled the curtains shut.

Breathing out deeply, I closed my eyes and, surprisingly, drifted right off to sleep.  
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A/n: short chapter, I know! I wanted to make it longer but then it would have been the same as what I've written for thoughts for now, but just written differently. So yeah, Harry just spins the whole plot around.. a bit... maybe not.I tried to okay :

Anyways, things take a dangerous turn when Harry starts to suspect some things.. has he caught Cho and Hermione in the act, redhanded? Or more likely, red-cheeked? XD Find out in the next chapter~! It'll be longer than this one, I promise xD

Read&Review**,** please, I need to improve~! Tell me what you like and what you didn't like so I can go on with that or change some things!  
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**_Disclaimer: the Harry Potter series belong to J.K. Rowling._  
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	9. Chapter 9

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_Chapter nine: Quality time  
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A strange feeling had entered in my chest when I had woken up, and it just wouldn't disappear. I felt nervous and I was longing... to see Cho again. I couldn't make it go away, just like the intense happiness about yesterday. I still couldn't believe that I actually liked Cho, but I at least knew that it was a nice feeling.

Cho and I had promised to meet at the Chamber of Requirement after lunch, since we both had some free hours before classes would start again. I frantically tried to keep my heart from beating too loud when I thought about it. Was this just temporary infatuation or real love? I figured I'd find out soon enough.

Harry's behaviour from last night still bothered me. Just when everything seemed stable and nice, he just had to spoil it. I just furiously hoped he'd forget about Cho fast enough to discover our... relationship. I wouldn't tell Cho though, not until I was sure of what we had was real.

Of course, I was overexaggerating. I knew I was, but I couldn't not worry about the possible situations and consequences. Because what if it did turn out to a disaster, what if Cho and I really didn't work, or what if someone found out? I was worrying a lot, because I wasn't sure that it wouldn't happen.

I stared at Cho from across the Gryffindor table while contemplating about it all. Her eyes were focused on mine, sending jolts of anxiety through my body, and I fought the urge to just abandon lunch and bolt for the Room of Requirement. I wondered what she was thinking about and I flashed her a brief smile before I turned back to my food.

"Say, Hermione, are you free after lunch?" Harry said, bending over the table, his tie hanging on his sandwich and sausages.

"No, I'm sorry, I'm going to study with Cho," I replied, trying not to grin while talking about Cho. Though I felt bad for Harry that he couldn't get his chances on her, it didn't stop me from feeling happy.

"Oh, okay. Too bad."

"We can do something some other time if you'd like that," I inquired.

"No, that's okay. I just wanted to hang out." the black-haired boy said, waving off my question with nonchalance, though I saw some disappointment flash in his eyes behind his glasses. I didn't elaborate.

I glanced over at the Ravenclaw table and noticed that Cho was gone. My heart skipped a beat (or two, I couldn't be sure) and I excused myself to Harry and Ron. Grabbing my bag, I nearly ran off to the seventh floor, taking two steps at a time on the stairs.

By the time I got to the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy, I was exhausted. I almost sprinted up the seven flights of stairs. My knees felt wobbly and on the verge of giving in. I took some time to get my breath back, looking at the plain wall across of me.

When I could breathe regularly again, I started to walk back and forth three times, eyes closed and thinking of a place where Cho and I could just be together, secretly but silently. Just us, no one else. I opened my eyes and looked at the wall again, and there was now a black door.

I hestitated to go inside. Though my heart was thumping and saying I should go in and give into my feelings, my mind said that it still felt weird and that I wasn't sure about it all yet. I bit my bottom lip and stood there for a while, weighing the consequences, facts and feelings.

After a while, I took a deep breath and proceeded to go inside.

Candlelight filled the room with a soft glow. It smelled like roses and a huge, soft looking couch that was infested with pillows stood in the middle of the room. Draped over it was Cho. My heart, again, skipped a beat upon seeing her.

She looked gorgeous in the dim light; her jet black hair cascaded down her shoulders, shining in the light; her smile dazzling, making her look so adorable, and her lovely dark brown eyes that simply beckoned me to come over to her.

All my doubts about how I'd really feel about her just vanished as I walked over to her, not preventing a broad smile from curling onto my lips. The way she made me feel was just too strong to be thinking about those things. Because right now, all I _could_ think about was Cho. I almost felt silly for not being sure of my attraction towards her.

"Hey there," Cho said, patting the empty space beside her. I wanted to speak, but my throath had gone dry and I just sat down next to her lying form, flinging my bag into a corner. I felt a little tense though my mind said it was all alright. I would've flung myself next to Cho if I didn't hold back, because I didn't want to act like that.

Cho seemed to notice my unease.

"Hey, what's up?" she crawled up and sat behind me. Her hands had rolled my robes off my shoulders in one simple move, and she was now softly kneading them. I let out a sigh of contentment and relaxed. She was so thoughtful.

"Well, I'm... a little nervous," I admitted, though I knew I had no reason to be, "this is still all so new to me, remember?"

"Hmm," she hummed as she pressed her thumbs into my neck, and only then I noticed my muscles were stiff as a board, probably from all the mental suffering. Cho circled her thumbs around and hit a sensitive spot. I let out a satisfactory grunt, earning a chuckle from Cho.

"You're really tense. How come?"

"Well, I assume it's because of all the things I went through this week. Though I never expected it to work out on my body."

"That happens an awful lot. Thing is, people just don't know that their mental state has a huge influence on their bodies," she replied, giving the muscle between my shoulderblades a firm knead, making me elicite another groan.

"Yeah, I guess," I said, trying my best to not entirely slump back into Cho's arms. Her warm, soft hands felt so good, so soothing, even through the fabric of my sweater. My thoughts had gone completely blank, my worries just a vague feeling. She gave another squeeze to my shoulders and I let out a sigh, closing my eyes. I smelled Cho's scent and it calmed me down. Altogether, I felt like I was going to melt soon.

"How did you feel, really? I mean, when you were... feeling those things?" Cho asked, her voice quite cautious but interested.

"Mostly confused. I couldn't make anything sensible of my thoughts and emotions, they were just a mess really. I never knew what I really felt. And I was angry too, at first. Angry at myself, for letting myself think of you. I didn't want to do so because it felt so... unnatural to me."

Cho hummed in agreement as I paused. Her hands kept on massaging my neck, shoulders and back, and it was hard to concentrate on what I was thinking.

"I just couldn't let the feelings in, I was resisting so much, just because I was... afraid," I continued, trying my best to word my feelings, "at least, I assume I was. I still am, a bit, but when I look at you, those... doubts just vanish," I smiled, though she couldn't see.

It felt weird to talk about my emotions. I always felt like I wasn't good at that, because it always made more sense in my head. But now that I did, it felt somewhat relieving. In a sense like I finally could understand myself a bit more.

Cho's musical laughter breathed in my ear from a -suddenly- very close proximity, sending a shudder down my spine. She planted a kiss on my ear before proceeding to knead my shoulders some more.

"I'm glad they do. You have nothing to be afraid of, honey," Cho replied, catching me off guard with the cute pet name, and I blushed upon hearing it, the word sending flutters through my stomach. She moved back and pressed her thumbs into the side of my neck again, making circles, going down. I unsuccessfully stifled a moan when she hit yet another tight muscle.

"Sorry," Cho said, her voice apologetic though I could practically feel her smirk.

"Hmm, don't be, it feels good."

Her hands seemed to stop for a quick moment upon my comment, but she resumed kneading. Cho moved her hands downward, tracing the sides of my spine before going up again. I sighed and closed my eyes again, savouring the feel of her expert hands.

Cho slid her hands downward again, ending at my waist. She gave me a squeeze before she proceeded to move to my abdomen, locking me in place. Lightly pressing herself against me, she kissed my neck, her breath tickling warm on my skin. I shivered.

I enveloped her hands with my own as I threw my head backward, Cho planting more and more kisses in my neck, on my shoulders and ear. She gently removed on hand from my hold and placed it on my thigh, sending a jolt through me. Stroking up and down, her hand pleasantly warm on my leg, Cho murmured my name under her breath. Her hand got dangerously close to the hem of my skirt.

Turning around in her hold, I planted my lips upon hers, locking her in place by encircling her neck with my arms. Cho shuddered and wrapped her arm around my waist while the other remained on my thigh, stroking and tracing her fingers up and down.

The kisses got more passionate, and I was breathing unevenly now. Cho's hands felt like liquid fire and I gasped when she pushed up my skirt, moving her hand further up my leg. Just when I was about to break the kiss she moved back, knowing her boundaries.

Cho panted as we parted, her eyes ablaze with pleasure. She purred and pushed me down in one gentle yet strong movement. She crawled over me, predatory eyes lurking behind her dark lashes. She licked her lips and a smirk played on her lips. My stomach lurched with longing and as soon as she was within my reach, I pulled her down on top of me.

I aimed for her neck and licked along the side of it, earning a shiver from Cho. While planting kisses all over her throath, Cho stroked my cheek, neck and arm, going downward, over my thigh and calf and stopped there, squeezing it, making me gasp. She then hitched my leg up and proceeded to trace her fingernails along it.

I kissed my way up and latched my lips back upon hers, only parting to get air. My heart was racing in my chest and I was afraid it would break out. My breathing was shallow and my head was spinning. At this point, I was about sure that my doubts about my feelings for Cho were gone.  
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A/n_: short chapter, I know. But I haven't treated you guys to some yummy ChoxHermione quality time. So there. This is the last chapter that I'll write for now, I'll resume somewhere in September. Reasons? 1) I'm going to France from 14 till the 21th of Agust and 2) I have school after that, so when I'll be all settled in again it'll be begin/mid September. Sorry guys, I wish I could post more, but I can't! Please bear with me D:

Anyways.. ChoxHermione. Had a lot of fun writing this~ I'm not entirely satisfied with the kissing and all part, but yeah, I can't think of anything better. And again, the chap is a bit short, sorry~!

Oh, and, **_Read&Review!_** Liked it? Loved it? Hated it (hope not)? Let me know so I can have lots of energy to start the new chapter when I get back~!

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Disclaimer: J.K Rowling owns all the Harry Potter goodness. Except for the above 8D**  
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	10. Chapter 10

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**A/n: Okay. First of all, I am so, SO incredibly sorry that this took SO damn long to update! Please forgive me! I was really busy with school and work and all. And well, I've been figuring out my personal life too, so I really had no time to write ): Of course, that is no excuse. I bow my head in shame.**

**Second: hmh, so, um, big time skip since last chapter. I'd been going on too long with just days passing, and I felt like I needed to a time skip to safely and normally end the chapter and fic, but, there's gonna be a bit of a plot-twist (well, not really.. but.. well.. yeah.. a bit) at the end, so go go go and read!**  
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Chapter ten: No turning back now  
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Two months had passed since Cho and I started months, in which such a lot had changed, or more or less, hadn't. A weak but warm sun had made the snow disappear- flowers were now on the verge of breaking through the soil and colouring up the landscape. The wind got warmer and the leaves were growing back on the trees, a light green hue decorating the branches. All in all, things were getting better again, and it improved everyone's mood at Hogwarts. Especially mine.

In these two, seemingly unsignificant months, my relationship -that _is_ what it's worthy of calling now- with Cho had been going so very smooth. It's like we were, and still are, blooming alongside with the flowers.

In the beginning, I had some doubts, which lasted for a few weeks. Cho was so very patient and that just soothed me, and made me able to wash away the worries. We had been able to keep our relationship secret; we weren't exactly fond of somebody knowing. It all had been going nicely, and I found myself _really_ in love with the Ravenclaw. No flirt, no temporary infatuation. Real love. Every single smile, every second of eyecontact, every word we whispered to eachother, every breath, every night we just cuddled had my heart beating like mad, butterflies waging wars in my stomach. I was at the point where I still fell for her every single day. And I absolutely didn't mind.

Cho and I just match. I wouldn't have believed we did a few weeks ago, but we do. I find myself truly interested in everything she has to say, and the other way around. And our personalities complement eachother so very well. Hers is so caring but also a little laid-back, while mine is a little more hectic and less care-free. She tries to make me enjoy life with the little things, while I try to make her see that a structure isn't bad too. Not that Cho makes a mess of her life, don't get me wrong, but she is just less interested in such things. Which makes it all the more fun to explain it to her.

Altogether, I found out that we connected better than I'd originally thought. I'm still learning about her, who she really is and all, and the other way around, too. I'm just happy.

I sighed. If only Harry was so... optimistic too. He constantly asks me if Cho is interested in him, if she's said anything about him, if I could arrange a date, and so on and so on. _Ugh_. It drives me crazy. I once almost blurted out something about Cho and me just to shut him up. But I couldn't do that. I knew I had to say it once, but I just couldn't. I am still afraid for people to know, for their reactions. Though my heart says that it's okay, because I love her, my mind thinks more rational and knows that society won't accept. I know Harry will accept, as the good friend that he is, but I just can't.

But if that's the only thing that's ruining my mood, I have no reason to be dissatisfied with how the things are just steadily running on and on. Even the Dark Lord had kept silent, which was even better.

"Hermione," Cho purred, interrupting my thoughts. She put her finger under my chin and coaxed my head up to meet her intense, loving gaze, "What are you thinking about?"

"You, and me. Us," I said, smiling though the the word was weighty on my tongue. _Us_. I didn't like to use that word. It feels like too much is set within the boundaries of that word. It makes me feel like Cho and I are engaged or something, or in some kind of affaire. I don't mind the fact that my relationship with Cho is serious, but the word still sounded wrong to me.

Cho's eyes changed, something like uncertainty and worry flickering in them behind their dark lashes.

"Don't worry," I quickly added, "I was just thinking about how well things have been going. You know, how I feel now is just.. so wonderful, and I want you to know that it's all because of you."

She smiled a dazzling and huge crooked grin, the worry in her dark eyes disappearing, making way for a look of love and happiness and relief. It's really silly how Cho worries about our relationship so much. Every word I say, she takes in really seriously. It actually is quite adorable how much she loves me and wants to keep this like it is now. I really didn't think that I could make her happy. I really thought that she'd be full of me in a week time, and I thought so too about her, but, like I said before, it just worked out. And I'm glad it did.

"So hey, um, can I ask you something?" the noir-haired said, fidgeting with the hem of her skirt, her cheeks a light flush of pink. Though she was acting quite coolly all the time, she did have her soft side, which she also often showed, much to my delight.

"Of course."

"Can I see you again... tonight?"

I bit my lip, not sure if I'd say yes right away. My heart happily agreed, but my mind pressed me on the fact that curfews were still pretty early because of the quick darkening outside, and I didn't like breaking rules. Not that I haven't broken any in my school career, I have done more than enough damage already.

So I figured one more couldn't hurt. Mostly because there was no way I could say no to Cho and her adorable smile, and because it must be special since she was acting this nervous and even somewhat shy about it.  
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The day passed very slow. So very slow. The one hour, the last class of the day; Ancient Runes, which I had before dinner felt like it lasted for days and days. I was anxiously waiting on what it was that Cho had planned for tonight, but the minutes ticked by ever so deliberately, as if to torture me with every second. I was nervously ticking on the edge of the desk with my wand until Ron smacked his hand over mine, his eyes big and annoyed.

I shot him an angry glance as he retracted his hand and shook his head in discontent.

Exhaling slowly as I tried to relax myself, I realized that wanted to see Cho _too_ bad. It kind of worried me that the only thing I could look forward too was her. I couldn't even look forward to reading a book anymore, which meant a lot. I realized I hadn't read a new book for weeks. Though I knew that it natural for me to want to see her again, since I love her and all, but I needed to keep my life beside her, too. Cho was important to me, but I didn't want her to close me off from everything else.

I had been spending less and less time with Ron and Harry, much to their dismay. Ronald had been pretty much ignoring me the last few weeks, and the only time I'd speak to Harry was when he asked about Cho, or when he wanted to copy some homework. It wasn't fair that I was neglecting them so much; we are such close friends and I don't want to lose that because of me being with Cho. I'd just have to make some kind of compromise between the two.

So I promised myself that I'd spend some of my days with the boys too... only not today.  
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"So, Hermione, what are you up to tonight?" Harry casually asked at dinner. His eyes pierced through mine, and I was afraid to say that I was going to do something with Cho again. Every time I'd say that I was going to her, his face would harden and he'd be unapproachable for the rest of the day, silent and in his own little world or something. At least, it seemed like he was.

"Um, just going to do some studying in the library, I guess," I lied, absentmindedly twirling a strand of my curly hair around my index finger, hoping the black-haired boy wouldn't see through the lie.

"I see."

"But I'll try and make it quick so we can hang out for a bit, is that alright? We haven't done anything in ages, Harry." I admitted, wanting to keep myself to my promise after all. His sad face wouldn't allow me stay away another whole night, I just couldn't do that, "So, I'll see you around eight or something?"

"Yeah, okay," his face seemed to brighten up a little, his eyes sparkling again, and I smiled at him.

After dinner, I found the note that Cho had slipped into my pocket when she'd walked past me. I was still baffled by the fact that she could do that without me noticing anything. Anyhow, that aside, it told me to meet her outside by the lake around seven.

The air had been mild today, and now a warm, dampy pressure was hanging down on the atmosphere, making it quite nice to be outside. The lake lay silent in the last bit of sun, it's surface opaque and smooth, like a huge mirror, reflecting the cloudy sky above. I sat in the grass near the bank of the lake, enjoying the nice Spring air, thinking about Cho.

My heart started pounding in my chest as I was wondering what she was planning to do. Sure, we normally spend almost every night together, sneaking into each others Common Rooms or meeting in the Room of Requirement, but, this time she really asked me if I could see her again, so it must be special.

I looked up at the sky, but instead, I saw two chocolate-brown eyes staring back in mine, a gleam of happiness twinkling in them. I smiled at her before she gave a brief kiss on my lips, the sensation of her lips upside-down on mine very weird.

"Hey."

"Hey," I replied, my voice just a low whisper, as if my voice wasn't able to speak to such an exceptional beauty. And yet again, my heart flowed over with love at just seeing her. She was so sweet. So thoughtful. So lovely. Never did I imagine some one loving me this much. With a smile permanently plastered on my face, I took her hand and pulled her down next to me.

She cuddled close to me and I proceeded to rest my head on her shoulder as we watched the surface of the lake break, a single leaf floating in the middle of the water, rippling the dark liquid. We just sat in silence for a while, enjoying each other's company, each other's feel, breath, heartbeat. I momentarily closed my eyes, feeling intensely happy at the moment.

"Hermione," Cho's voice broke into my little bubble of happiness, and I turned my head to look at her. Her dark eyes twinkled mysteriously, almost deviously so and the anxiety from earlier today suddenly appeared again, my stomach lurching pleasantly.

"I want to take you somewhere, come on," she said, standing up and offering me her hand. She pulled me up and she didn't let go of my hand but instead, she intertwined our fingers, locking my hand in place. She started walking, heading towards the Quidditch grounds. Curiosity took hold of me and I asked her what she was planning to do.

"You'll see." a wink.

I opened my mouth to say something again, but Cho quickly planted a kiss on my lips to prevent me from saying anything, a grin streched across her face when she pulled back. I blushed and looked down. Why would I want to ask what she had planned, when it obviously was a surprise? I felt a little stupid, but Cho gently squeezed my hand, signalling it was alright.

We walked in silence, travelling on the small dirt road that led to the Quidditch grounds. The high towers which were meant for the audience during a match slowly rose up from the horizon as we moved closer to them. I could feel my stomach lurching pleasantly as we got closer and closer.

Cho lead me to the entrance which lead to the Quidditch field once we got there, and I watched around as we walked to the centre, still amazed at the little stadium. The banners with the different Hogwarts houses insignia's hung high in the air, swaying in the mild breeze.

Then suddenly, Cho proceeded to pull me down and I flopped down next to her, a little surprised. As I looked around, I saw that she had set up a very romantic scene. Candles were scattered everywhere around us, glowing brightly in the setting dusk. We sat on a blanket with a couple of pillows, a bottle of champagne (I had no idea where she got that) and bowl of strawberries standing in front of me.

A smile immediately played on my lips as I gazed at Cho. Her cheeks were rosy and she smiled back sweetly, a happy glimmer in her eyes. I shoved myself closer to her and rested my forehead against hers, my arms finding their way around her neck.

"Cho, you shouldn't have." I said, feeling a little guilty. If I had known, I could've done something back.

"No, don't sweat it. I just wanted to show you how much you really mean to me, and well, this was all I could think about. It's a bit cheesy, but.. yeah," she said, grinning crookedly, "I hope you like it."

I briefly kissed Cho on the lips, closing my eyes for a second.

"Thank you."

The black-haired girl smiled back after I pulled away, and then proceeded to envelope me in her embrace. Her arms snaked around my waist as she pressed me close, her sweet scent filling my head and making me feel so very comfortable. She released me after a while and I cuddled up to her, my head resting on her shoulder, feeling her lips so ever often kiss the top of my head.

We talked for a bit, about useless things and what had happened during classes and so on. The good thing that with Cho, it didn't matter what we talked about. I could talk to her about practically everything. We never had a silence, and if that was the case, it didn't feel awkward.

"Say, Cho," I said after a while, "don't you think that it's okay to tell people.. about us?"

"I don't know. Depends on who you're planning to tell." her voice sounded a bit harsh, so I guessed I had hit a nerve. I wriggled myself free from her hold and gazed into her eyes.

"Well, you know..." I hestitated, looking down, not sure whether or not she'd approve, "Harry."

"If you think it's necessary, then well, yeah, you can tell him." Cho's voice sounded soft again, and I looked up to meet her gaze, but it was still hardened. I bit my bottom lip.

"But let's not worry about that now, shall we?" she said, a gentle sigh escaping from her lips. She reached out to take a strawberry from the bowl and proceeded to hold it in front of my face, a devious grin playing on her features. I blinked a couple of times before I smiled at my girlfriend and took a bite from the red fruit, closing my eyes as I did so.

She ate the other half while she kept looking at me with a gleam in her eyes that I could not define, but it made me feel very pleasant. A blush crept up my cheeks as she fed me some more, the grin on Cho's lips still not fading away. I could feel the tension between us growing, reaching a level that I'd never experienced before. I felt this urge for more, and, with my mind on zero, I took a strawberry and crawled over to Cho, pushing her down on the blanket. My hands rested next to her head as I moved myself above her.

"My, my," Cho chuckled as her hands rested on my hips, her eyes fixed upon mine, "what's gotten into you?"

I just merely grinned, not even knowing the answer myself, my heart beating so very loud. I put the fruit between my lips, almost biting it in half and leaned in. I felt Cho's lips softly touch mine as she took her share from the strawberry, and when she bit it off, her lips lingered on mine before she pulled back with a giggle.

Her hand traveled to my hair and brushed some behind my ear, a smile playing on her lips. Her expression was one of sheer love, and I couldn't do anything else but to smile.

"I love you, Hermione."

My heart jumped in my chest, and it felt like it needed a few seconds to reboot itself after that. I couldn't believe she'd just said that, I was so happy. I never thought that those three words would have so much impact on me. _She loves me_.

My breath was still hitching in my throath from surprise, and I knew I had to say it back to her, I wanted to say it back to her, but my voice wouldn't work. After what seemed like ages, I could finally speak again.

"I love you, too." I breathlessly replied, an affectionate smile playing on my lips before I planted them on Cho's in a fierce kiss. My heart was still trying to get back to a normal beat, but unsuccesful. Cho pulled me down on top of her and a shiver crept up my spine as I felt her body press against mine. Right at this moment, I felt like Cho and I were the only ones alive, and that she was all that mattered. My mind went blank, and all I could think about was her and her alone.

A growing hunger built up in my chest as Cho's hands moved over my back, trying to remove my clothes as our kiss intensified. As I gently parted her lips with my tongue, I tasted the strawberries from before, so I licked along her lips, making her shudder underneath me. The urging feeling almost exploded inside me when my goddess undid me and herself from our shirts, her soft, warm hands now traveling over my bare skin, spreading a warmth through my whole body. Her silky skin touched mine and I melted under her touch.

Cho pulled back from the kiss, breathing quite heavily, and continued down in my neck, leaving a trail of kisses all the way to my chest and back up again. I gripped her shoulders tightly when she bit my earlobe and whispered my name in my ear. My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my chest.

Not much later, we were both naked underneath our robes, and the feel of Cho's warm body pressed against my own alone sent a thousand jolts of pleasure through my own body, like electricity. Her gentle hands rested on my hips, and her eyes searched for confirmation in mine. I rubbed my body against hers and locked our lips back together as an answer.  
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I lay in Cho's arms, feeling rosy and tingly all over, my breathing slow and even, matching Cho's. The dusk was fully setting, the stars slowly getting visible as they were scattered across the darkening sky.

Turning around in her grip, Cho let out a soft, satisfactory purr, and she looked at me with half-closed, love-filled eyes. I shifted, her arms sliding over my bare back, leaned in and softly pressed my lips against hers. In the back of my mind, I realized that curfew would be soon. I cursed softly while pulling back from the kiss.

"I don't want to ruin the mood," I began, chuckling, "But if we don't hurry we'll break curfew. You don't want them to find us like this, do you?"  
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Cho and I had walked back in some sort of haze, silent all the way but walking close to eachother, holding hands and chuckling ever so often. It felt good. Just good. After she said she loved me, it felt like nothing could break me anymore. Everything was good.

We'd nearly broken curfew when we arrived at the entrance, professor McGonagall tapping her foot on the stone floor in annoyance as we giggled like two little girls while we hurried down the corridor, avoiding eyecontact with the professor and bolting for the staircases.

I wished Cho goodnight when we got to the right floor which homed her Hogwarts house, whispering it in her ear as she took me in her embrace, pressing me tightly against her. She smiled at me, gave me a brief kiss before disappearing behind a corner, her black locks swaying behind her. I sighed contently.

Moving my way up to the seventh floor, I couldn't quite believe the love I felt, the love for Cho that was somehow exploding in my chest. I never thought I could love someone so much. I never thought someone could love _me_ so much. The most amazing feeling of happiness had engulfed me since she'd spoken thos little three words. I smiled when thinking of it.

I realized I'd gotten to the seventh floor already, and I crossed through the corridors to the painting. I gave her the password and it swung open. I climbed through, my thoughts still with Cho, wondering if she was feeling the same as I was. Something in the back of my mind still doubted for a split second, but I mentally laughed at the little voice.

Stumbling out of the portrait entrance as it swung close behind me, I scanned the room. In front of the fireplace stood a boy. I could quite distuingish him from the darkness at first, but then, with a shock, I realized who the boy was. And he was not just a boy. It was Harry. All the blood drained from my face as I suddenly realized our get-together that was planned for tonight. Instead of saying anything, I just looked at him, frantically trying to make up some sort of excuse.

"Took you quite long to study." he said, his voice flat and hard. I could hear he was upset, and he had every right to be. I was a horrible friend. I had let him down yet again. My stomach dropped as I tried to speak.

"I-I um... Harry, yeah. Sorry." was all that came out of my throat.

"But I checked, and you weren't in the library," Harry didn't miss a beat, his voice cutting through my useless words, "you probably were with Cho again, were you?" he stepped away from the fireplace, a bit closer to me, his voice suddenly soft and inquiring.

I just simply nodded.

"Really, what is it with Cho and you these days?"

Cold sweat broke out as I realized what he was getting at. Or rather, what I thought he obviously was trying to get at. Should I just tell him? Just the plain truth, no lies anymore. I was sick of telling them all the time either way. This was the perfect opportunity. But something inside me still told me not to. But I couldn't lie anymore. I just couldn't. I gulped.

"Harry, Cho and... Cho and I are in love."  
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**************A/n: CLIFFHANGER. EVIL ME. Hehehe. So, I was intending to make this chapter the last, but I guess I could just stretch one more, ne? So tell me what you guys think! And once again, I am so sorry that it took soooo long to update! I hope this chapter makes it up a bit.**

Read&Review please~!  
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_Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling_  
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